Painfully reminded

Original post: Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I hate when I wake up from a nap and I realize my phone's screen is completely gross with smudges.

Everyone's phone gets dirty.
But there's a certain way my new phone gets if I cry while talking, and I hate that. It reminds me of the pain.

I haven't cleaned it off from the last time I cried on purpose this time, though.
See, it reminded me of something. And no, it's not something I want to hold on to because of revenge, anger, resentment, or hatred. It's something I want to be held by; I want God to keep me in the place where I have to be constantly reminded of what He's doing in my life.

See, I forget, but He was getting my attention back. Funny thing, how God just can't let me go. Sometimes I act like I think He will. But apparently He's not finished with me yet.

The tears remind me that God's got me where He wants me. This place might hurt for now, but I'll be okay in the end.

The tears remind me that God's in control. He knows best, He does best, He wants best for me.

The tears remind me that I'm not strong enough. The tears remind me that even so, He is.

The tears remind me that I need to come to Him with all this pain. That I shouldn't be afraid to remember the tears, because it is in this pain that I find His peace is still more powerful than this pain.

I shouldn't be afraid to be reminded how weak I am.
I shouldn't be afraid to be reminded of how I can't fix things, I'm not in control, and I don't know what's going to happen next.

So the tears stains stayed for a while. They were there to remind me - I'm not enough, but His grace is more than enough.