Original Post: June 16, 2010 at 10:25am
Somebody once told me that they thought that your significant other should bring out the best in you.
Honestly, I think this is idealistic at best.
I disagree with the basic train of thought that leads to this
assumption. For one thing, the concept seems too dependent, in ways that
one shouldn't depend on another human being. I mean that the dependency
should instead be dependency on God (not that dependency is bad, just
often misplaced). Someone else might bring joy to my life that is unlike
anything else, and allow me close and draw me close like no one else,
but they are still human. Their encouragement could just as easily fall
on an unresponsive heart. Also, they can just as easily wound another as
build me up. Even considering only those times that are good,
encouraging, pure, and uplifting, these times are not perfect, because
people are not perfect, and cannot fully satisfy.
But it is what God has given them that is good that might encourage
me, to begin with, and so it is God's work that brings out the best in
me. The best in me, is Christ in me.
Some people also say things like, "I want to be the best I can be before I date."
It sounds all right. Really. But, I think this is impossible.
Sure, there are times in life when one probably shouldn't date,
because of situations and circumstances that would not allow for the
best foundation for a relationship. These things might range from a
rough time in life, one's age or maturity level, one's health, or other
life changing or highly emotional events. But only God knows the perfect
timing. And my standards of best may be quite skewed. If I have to have
it all together before someone loves me, then what kind of love is it,
This is how I see the whole thing:
I am who I am, despite what other people do to me; my relationship
with Christ makes me who I am. It is Christ in me who makes my best. And
I won't be my best until I die, and am in heaven free from the sin
nature and standing in the presence of God, made whole. And the man I
commit to, I will commit to knowing that he won't be his best, until
then either. That, hopefully, he will constantly be growing in his faith
the rest of his life, and I will be there to encourage him, and vice
versa. But no matter what, I will have the grace and patience to know
this: God's not finished with him yet, with me yet.
I hear people argue about things like, "People don't change."
Leaving people on their own, I agree with the statement. But I know a
life-saving life-changing God. And with that God as Lord of their lives,
I have seen - people can, and do, change. Sometimes it is very slowly,
but it is possible, and I have witnessed it. And sometimes other people
are heavily involved in the process. I know in my life, I have many
people to thank.
I am changing constantly. Everyone is ready to date when they are,
and that is different timing than anyone else, but I know it's right
when God directs it. I will grow the rest of my life. And it's really
nice when we have someone willing to be with us in this journey for the
rest of our lives.