“Depth”

For the trials of life...

Original post: Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Listening to the same song til it makes me sick
Reading over memories til the tears flow again
Feeling that pit in my stomach
Surrounded by the best of the best
Yet longing for the one thing I'll never have.

Dying to fill the void with just one more good song
Straining to hear that new catchy quote
Getting caught up in a whirlwind of emotion
Just to be let down and refigure my devotion...

Going through the motions without pure joy
Strangling out the pain that aches inside this void
Longing for a voice to carry out this fear
Carry far away so I never have to hear
Hear the ones who tell me that
I'm only meant for earthly things
When everything in me can only be
Satisfied by things
Things I cannot see.

Longing for Home
while sitting through hell
with my hands tied helplessly
and while a lot to look forward to
a lot to get through before then.

Listening to that same song
wishing it didn't speak the truth to me
wishing the pain would go away
wishing things were mine I've never known
and knowing things that wishes never bring
and bringing things before a throne
a throne that judges best from good
and doesn't satisfy my live-right-now mode.

Will you take that way of life?
Let it die!
Begin something new in me,
something that won't fade in an hour,
something not based on feelings
something not based on how good I can be
something not based on circumstances
because I have lost interest in all of these.

Rescue, that's what He died for!
Freedom, that's my new life.
It's all inside me, nothing to do with the outside.
It's not my fear and not my pain
not even being happy.
It's not how many times I win
or all the times I fail.
It's not how good or bad "life" treats me.
I wanna be your hands, your feet - I'll go, send me!
TRY ME NOW AND SEE, SEE THAT I CAN BE, COMPLETELY YOURS.